Friday, November 13, 2009

Red & White Momma

Yesterday morning, my true colors were shining through . . . I've discovered, sadly enough, that my colors are red and white.

The bus pulled up and stopped at our driveway, and I was standing on the front porch, watching Abi board the bus, just like every morning. As Abi was crossing in front of the bus, she suddenly stopped and let out a horrific scream, turned and started running back up the driveway. She stopped after about 15 feet and started having a meltdown. I yell from the porch, my breath visible in the morning air, "What is the matter with you?!" She says, "I forgot my glasses!"

Seriously! By this time, the bus driver has his side window open, trying to assess what kind of girl drama just happened. I yelled at her to just get on the bus and that I'd bring them to school in a little bit. The bus driver coaxed her onto the bus and hollered to me that he'd wait while I got them. While that sounds incredibly generous, I was now in a pickle . . . and my true colors were about to shine!

You see, I'm standing on the porch, in a pair of workout shorts, a t-shirt, no shoes, freezing to death, shamelessly using my 1 1/2 year old to shield the fact that I am also not wearing a bra.
What to do?
So, I do what any redneck, white trash Momma would do, and I go inside, get the glasses, run bare-footed, child-shielded across the front yard and unabashedly hand the glasses to the poor man unfortunate enough to be involved in this drama.

Red and white.


Sherry said...

Oh Mischelle~ That is priceless. You made me smile! We ALL do that! I can soooo identify. I just try not to go to Walmart like that. hehe When you are doting 4 children all by yourself looking like that....they think you're on welfare!

Fryar Family said...

Question - How many times did you not awake to find your mom fully dressed complete except for shoes with make-up on and hair done. I always did this because so I would not get caught in that situation or if called to the school during the day I would be dressed and have make-up... White trash Momma's Momma....

Julie said...

I just spit coffee on my computer screen!

Lee Ann said...

Oh , I laughed out loud too. Thanks for sharing. Too funny. You are such a good writer!!!