Thursday, September 22, 2011

Happy Birthday, Dexter!

In just a few minutes, our littlest man will be 2 -- on this side of the globe, anyway. On the other side, in China, he's already 2.
So many emotions fill my heart in anticipation of his birthday. I am so grateful to be with him this year. Happy tears overflowed tonight when I laid out his clothes to wear tomorrow, which included the "Birthday Boy" shirt I bought last year just before his first birthday, when it had become obvious that we were not going to get clearance to travel to be with him on his birthday. I had what I call an "ugly cry" in the middle of JCPenney's, looking at the shirts and wanting to be with him so badly. I am sorrowful for what I know must lurk in his "tummy mommy's" heart on this day, when she relives the birth of a precious little boy that she could not keep. I am ecstatic that he is happy and healthy and loved. I am melancholy that in 16 minutes, when he turns 2, I will never, ever again have a 1-year-old child in my home. I always longed to be a mom, dreaming of having squirmy babies and rambunctious toddlers in my arms and home. Now that phase of life is quickly fading into something equally wonderful but maturely different. I am forever changed by the things he's taught me and the love I've experienced.
Happy Birthday, Dex!