Friday, May 8, 2009

Where there's a Will ...

There's God.
Life has gotten a little boring around the Coston house! Schedules are fairly predictable. The Small Ones are fairly well-behaved. We have only one home mortgage, with no second homes to sell. There are no surprise buns in the oven. My baby weight is (again) fairly whittled down. There are no major illnesses in the family. Finances are fairly stable. Friendships are comfortable. There's been no recent storm damage or leaky roofs.

However, however, however, I've been feeling a stirring, that restlessness I believe God uses to prepare me for something big ... or several somethings big.
It's a love/hate relationship between me and that feeling! I am such a planner. I like to see what's around that next corner -- and I don't want just a glimpse like in those mirrors used to see around curves or buildings when driving. I don't want a blurry, kinda' morphed view of what's coming up, let alone just a restless feeling inside.
Conversely, the times of big change in my life, immediately following that poison ivy itchy restless feeling, are the times I feel closest to God. Those are the times that I'm truly seeking His Will for my life, being obedient, and walking with Him when things might not be the easiest, most comfortable, or most well-planned (by me, at least).

There are several big decisions that Nick and I are mulling over right now, and I struggle with discernment. I am completely willing to be obedient to what God wants from me -- I just need to know what it is He is calling me to do. So, I'm constantly praying for clarity in my decisions, especially when I begin to feel "the Stirring." I know that God is sovereign over all, and I certainly am not under any illusion that I could mess up God's Plan with my disobedience or lack of discernment. But I don't see any need to wander around aimlessly when I could just walk straight where God told me to go (unless maybe I'm going to burn some calories doing it!)

So, last night, I was praying about some things I read in my quiet time yesterday, applying those concepts to our mulling process right now. And, God spoke. Like I should be surprised, or something? One of the verses from a quiet time last week was Jeremiah 29:13: "You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart." I was, so I did.
God said to me that regardless of x, y, and z in my decision-making process and even the actual outcome of my decisions, it is ultimately about Him. It is ultimately about me glorifying Him with my heart and actions. When I change my focus from being more about the people, things, and details involved in these decisions and turn my eyes toward Him, the decisions themselves become significantly less important. Are my motivations right in these matters? Is my heart fully set on bringing glory to God and sharing his love and redemptive plan with others? If so, my decisions will fall into place.

Where there's a woman seeking God's Will, she will find God Himself.


Valerie said...

Thank you so much for writing this Mischelle. I, too, am mulling around quite a few decision's. But I feel maybe I have recently been distracted by the fear that God is going to do something too big, or ask me to give more than I am ready to give. But you are soo right, that our heart is His concern. His will is ultimate, and will be done, but our heart is the life of what will be done. thank you. I needed to hear this.

Sherry said...

That was amazing, Mischelle. Thank you for sharing that!

Sharon said...

You are AWESOME!!!

Fryar Family said...

You have eloquently reminded us of what we need to remember, but seldom do. Thank you for sharing these thoughts and feelings with us.