Today was a mixture of self-loathing and deep despair ... I think it's beginning to sink in that I will likely never have a baby in my womb or a newborn in my house again. I have been realizing that I need to begin letting go of some of my babies' stuff, considering there are Rubbermaid containers stacked over my head in the attic, safely holding my babies' precious things, as if they were a mother's arms rocking things that once touched one or more of my children's skin. Does that sound like the overly emotional ramblings of a crazy woman? I think so ... a crazy, maternal hoarder! I can easily sell or toss pretty much anything -- except my kids' things. It seems like virtually every item recalls some memory, however vague, mundane, or unimportant, a memory nonetheless, of my babies' childhood. I found myself disgusted with myself when I snapped to, in realization that I was really going through socks Brandon wore when he was two, deciding which pair I could let go of and which ones I "had" to keep. I felt like a woman on "Hoarders," trying to rationalize keeping some of the most ridiculous things.
So, I now have a quite impressive pile of clothes that I likely wouldn't dress my next child in anyway, if the occasion arose. There's also a pile of compromises, ones that I think I'll be able to let go of after taking a picture of them. But, then again, what if the house were to burn down and I lost the pictures of those things ... wait, then I'd lose all the stuff still in the attic. Maybe I should build an underground vault in the yard for their things ... can you say, "crazy, maternal hoarder?!"
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6 comments:
Good job cleaning out and I'm proud of you that you even have a pile that you are willing to part with! Baby steps.. no pun intended.
If you are willing to part with the precious Smock dresses of Abi's, Katie would love to wear them :o)
Wow... You're my mother. No, wait... You're my sister? I'm so confused!
We've always given Mom a hard time about keeping every paper we ever wrote, every trophy we ever won, and every report card we ever brought home. I guess, somewhere between sorting through B's socks and taking pictures of A's clothes, you started eating those words. :o)
I will have you know, dear Brother, that I do a very good job of sorting through school papers, etc. I've even thrown the broken t-ball trophy away. The biggest problem with all that is getting it in the trashcan and in a dumpster without someone else in my house digging it back out! There's just something about their little clothes...
Thanks, Sharon, for the encouragement! :o)
Good job! It is hard~ but does get much easier once you are "okay" w/ not having anymore kiddos! Dace just saw the pix of Camryn on the next post and said, "Hey, there's my friend". So cute!
Oh Mischelle, this post made me cry, no sob to be truthful! I SO get it and I understand your pain. I've been trying to go through Beau's closet today and it's SO hard to let it go. Every little thing has a memory attached. I like the picture idea...
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